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Its OK to Fallback and Re-Evaluate

7:58:00 PM

force-of-nature
Courtesy: UniteDNA via DeviantArt

You will get stuck delaying life decisions that will make or break you. 

No matter how long you delay making these decisions, it will not go away. Eventually you will have to make a decision or someone will make it for you. I'm at that point in my life where I have delayed the inevitable.

I should be grateful. I should be thankful everyday for having family and friends that has supported my decision to quit my job and pursue entrepreneurship and business ownership. That was my plan when I left my job - to make money doing my own thing. Problem was, I didn't even have a clue what it really took to run my own business.  



I didn't have it. 

I didn't have the mindset to make that giant leap. I was broken. A broken person who couldn't get herself out of her own way. So I faked it, like most people do. Acted like I was working, when I was really watching Netflix or Amazon Prime all day and be on Facebook. My work ethic was gone and I had no idea where it went. And then time just kept passing me by while I waited for my work ethic to come back. I literally started thinking that I had to be actually motivated to want to work, but that is an illusion. 

One morning on my way to a Leadership Development School event, I heard on the radio a topic about women trying to find the right man. In the talk, the expert talked about being the person you are looking to find. He said we tend to attract those who are like the qualities we inhabit. If you want better qualities, you have to be a better person. The type of people everybody truly wants to be with or around is broken into these: Being Consistent, Decisive, Mature and having Strength.

I realized I lost these qualities along the way and thus why I could not make the giant leap. 

"I believe the main components Fear, Belief and Accountability are what keeps us all from leaping." - Quaisha Thornton

I had accomplishments in my past that used the good qualities and held back the life-killing ones. But now, its something else that keeps me chained. 

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Jon Westernberg put it as clear as a quartz crystal: We won't change what we don't acknowledge. I refused to acknowledge that I am not a team player, that I am selfish on most levels, that I don't want to give up my comfort zone and that I don't implement new knowledge from the sources I chose to learn from. I was going in circles, sinking further into an abyss I made for myself. I now believe it is time to Fallback and Re-Evaluate. Its OK to admit out loud that I did not position my mind, body and soul to receive blessings I prayed and hustled for. 

Taking accountability now will be to make the decision to pursue further my previous 9-5 job for a reinstatement as an Eligibility Specialist for a NYC agency, all while still working my businesses. In order to gain my qualities back I have to be consistent, decisive, mature and have the strength to continue actions that will make my dreams come true. I believe that rebuilding my work ethic and character can position myself to refocus, reorganize and restructure my life to accept the blessings I know I deserve. 


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